Friday, January 4, 2008

The Constitution of Non-Hating

Article One


Thou shall not make sarcastic comments towards someone's physical appearance.

The use of words such as idiot, stupid, moron and/or any other demeaning word towards someone's intelligence shall not be uttered in front or behind the person or persons or group of persons to which it would be directed to.

Using racist or stereotypical slurs is hereby prohibited.

Snickering and/or giggling while people walk by is just as bad as ill-speaking of them.

Article two

The use of the rolling eye movement shall be forbidden in public places.

Pointing and obvious gestures used to make fun of other people will not be accepted.

Laughing at the less fortunate shall be frowned upon.

Article Three

Thou shall smile when entering a room, regardless if they are friends or not.

The smile shall not be obviously fake, and the eyes shall not give off a "hater" look.

When someone begins conversation, thou shall not make them feel inferior

Don't speak in public if thou are not ready for the challenge. This may cause thou to utter words that will cause failure to your mission.

If a negative thought runs through thy head, simply acknowledge it, and then let it go. Do not speak it, or let it be known by facial expression that thou has had a hating thought.

Keep mind of thy facial expressions because people interpret them differently and may not understand the jest in the expression.

If all else fails, simply sit on thy hands, and bit thy lip, while smiling, of course. Thou does not want to give off negative vibrance.

Disclosure :

If thou is commited to this constitution, there will be great success.

If thou happens to fail this mission, thou shall be known as a hater who will become the old lady that lives with 7 cats and yells at the little children who run by her house. Thou shall not be loved or know love, except by her cats. Thou shall die a cold, lonely and miserable death. Not even God will want thou.

So go with God, and go in peace.

Shalom.

3 comments:

Anne Marie said...

haha!!! i like the ones about rolling your eyes, and sitting on your hands. perfect. god speed with your ambitious endeavor.

Merari said...

lol. we are amazing!

no more hating.

Brigitte said...

this was awesome.
you are the greatest anti-hater ever!